Oh, you fancy huh?

Hello there!  So, this will be kind of a short one because I made a promise to myself to go to sleep before 1 o'clocky tonight.  And I took a sleeping pill, so hopefully this recipe remains more coherent than the St. Patty's Day one.  All right!

Goat Cheese and Arugula Pizza with Caramelized Onions

1 (8 oz.) package of goat cheese
2 small handfuls arugula (also known as "rocket")
1/2 red onion (roughly chopped)
3-4 basil leaves
olive oil
1 pizza crust (or you can make your own if you're not lazy)
pepper

1.  Preheat the oven to the temperature your pizza crust package tells you to turn it to.  Mine said 425 degrees.
2.  Put the oil and onions in a medium skillet and cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until onions are soft and caramelized, about 7-10 minutes.

 3.  Put pizza crust on a pizza pan or baking sheet, and lightly brush the edges of the pizza crust with olive oil.

4.  Sprinkle goat cheese all around pizza, but leave about an inch to an inch and a half uncheesed around the edges.  Then sprinkle the arugula (rocket), basil leaves, and caramelized onions all over the pizza.  Crank some pepper on that puppy.
5.  Bake the pizza for about 8-10 minutes (or whatever the pizza crust package tells you) and enjoy!

 

This is so effortlessly, deliciously awesome.  And it's so easy to make.  And it's really not too unhealthy for you... as long as you're sharing.  Goodnight you princes of Maine, you kings of New England.

A Literal Irish Car Bomb

Top o' the mornin' to ya!  Let me preface this entry by saying that my baking this past evening was not a success.  I tried to do something delightful and St. Patrick's Day related, and it kinda blew up in my face a bit.  Firstly, if you decide to follow this recipe you will almost certainly end up with some rock cupcakes that taste like beer.  On that note, at least they came out pretty, and the frosting was goodish.

Artistic

Blarney Stone Cupcakes (i.e. chocolate stout Guiness draught cupcakes)
adapted (loosely... very loosely) from Food Network

3/4 cup hot cocoa powder (poor choices)

2 cups sugar

2 cups flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

Pinch fine salt

1 bottle tall can stout Guiness Draught beer (poorer choices)

1 stick butter, melted

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

3 large eggs

3/4 cup sour cream

Oh, hello poop

Such poor choices

Okay, I am not going to write the steps because, as my friend and I were making these cupcakes, we (or rather I) did a poor job of following the directions.  I used hot cocoa powder instead of unsweetened cocoa powder, and draught dark beer instead of stout.  Stout is the only kind that should be used for baking- the end.  In addition, I don't really recommend following this person's recipe from foodnetwork.com because his recipe makes the cupcakes very runny (and the frosting he makes is runny and terrible as well... BAD RECIPE).  During the prep process I decided to add more flour and hot cocoa powder because I wanted to thicken up the batter.  Although the batter did thicken, once the cupcakes came out of the oven, they turned into little muffiny weapons.  Epic fail texture-wise, but flavor-wise they were okay.  At least the frosting was okay. Live and learn, people.

Bailey's and Cream Cheese Frosting

3-4 tablespoons Bailey's Irish Liqueur

1 (8 oz.) package of cream cheese, softened

1 1/2 cups confectioner's sugar

 

So you just mix everything together in a mixer for a couple minutes... that's about it.  I screwed up.  I'm sorry.  So I made something pretty instead:

 Yay!  Well, maybe I should branch out from cooking and have a good long hard think Winnie the Pooh style.  Goodnight... er good morning.  Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!

Spring Rollin' in The Deep

Hello friends!  Recently I was trying to think up some sort of dish that would best represent Leap Day.  Frogs' legs is out of the question because a) I've never eaten them, and b) I wouldn't trust myself with cooking them.  It's important to build up your culinary technique until you've reached the whole frogs' legs/hog roast/whatnot shenanigan skill level.  So, as I was cruising a delightful Vietnamese restaurant in midtown, I spontaneously decided to purchase spring roll skin.  Since I had made a stir fry earlier on in the week, I already had spices and veggies needed to create some splendid spring rolls.  So... without further ado.... let us SPRING into March!!!....puns are fabulous. Shutup.

Chicken and Veggie Spring Rolls

1 pack spring roll skins
1 chicken breast
6-8 basil leaves (minced)
3 medium sized carrots
1/2 red onion (chopped)
2 cloves garlic (minced)
soy sauce
paprika
garlic powder
ground ginger
light vegetable oil
Sriracha  (optional)

1. Heat a wok or large sauce pan to over medium heat, and drizzle about 2 tablespoons of the oil into the wok/pan.  Allow the oil to heat up before placing the chicken breast in the pan.  Throw a few dashes of paprika, garlic powder, and ground ginger over the chicken.  Allow chicken to cook for 7-8 minutes on one side before flipping it.  Season the other side of the chicken.  Once chicken has cooked all the way through (another 7-8 minutes), remove the chicken from the pan, and place on cutting board.  Then chop the chicken breast into very small pieces.  Coat chicken with 1 1/2 tablespoons of soy sauce and let it set for 5 minutes.

2.  After washing and peeling the carrots, use the peeler to peel (so much aPPEAL- HA!)... use the peeler to peel off small skinny strips.  In the same pan that you were just using to cook the chicken, add 1 1/2 tablespoons oil.  Don't worry about cleaning the pan, the remnants of the chicken and its seasoning will add to the flavor of the veggies.  Add basil, onion, carrot, and garlic to the pan/wok.  Stir occasionally for about 8 minutes, and then add the chicken into the pan.  Cook together (and season more) for a few more minutes.

 3.  Heat a separate frying pan over medium high heat, and add about 1/3 cup oil to the pan.  While you are waiting for the oil to heat up, start wetting some of the spring roll skins.  This is important because, in order for the skins to have elasticity to form into a spring roll, they first need to be moistened, and then laid out to dry on a flat surface for about 2 minutes .  Do not pile the wet spring roll skins on top of each other or you will have a gluey rice mess and you will probably still be hungry.

4.  Once the spring roll skin has dried (is no longer wet, but the skin is loose and elastic) scoop a heaping spoonful of the chicken and vegetable mixture onto the far side of the circular skin.  (Also, try not to include too much of the liquid left in the bottom of your wok/pan).  Make sure to spread the chicken/veg mixture out into a log shape.  Fold the bottom of the wrapper up over the filling and gently press down.  Fold in both sides of the wrapper, and gently press to seal.  Continue rolling the spring roll up towards the top of the wrapper.  If the wrapper won't seal, then sprinkle the top with a little bit of water.

Some rolls are bigger than others

 5.  Place the roll(s) in the heated frying pan.  Cook both sides of the roll for about 4-5 minutes or until golden brown.  Remove rolls from pan and place on a plate lined with paper towels.  This will drain the spring roll of its excess oil.  Let cool for 5 minutes.  Serve with duck sauce, soy sauce, hot chili sauce, hot mustard sauce, peanut sauce, Thai chili sauce, or (my favorite...you know it) Sriracha.

Having a moment with my love... Sriracha

Cooking the spring rolls was a little bit more difficult than I had anticipated... mostly because I made the recipe up while cooking, and mostly because I wasn't sure how much oil was appropriate to use.  I must note that I used a lot less oil than you're supposed to use while making spring rolls because I wanted a kind of healthier version.  Also, deep frying things over a gas stove and open flame terrifies me.  Goodnight!